Michael and Shelby talk with Dr. Kim about how transitions can affect a marriage.
Many people who have great dreams as they begin married life together “nd themselves ready to get out because none of their dreams have come true.
If you are married, it may mean you are settling for a so-so marriage.
How important is it to you that you’re future spouse be a Spirit-led follower of Jesus? I hope it is a high priority to you. The kind of person you marry is a great determining factor in the life you live on this earth. That being said, how important is it to you that you are a Spirit-led follower of Jesus? Isn’t it interesting how we can focus on the other person instead of ourselves? It is key to be a Spirit-led follower of Jesus. After all, the Spirit is our “guide, comforter, and counselor” according to Jesus. We are given the Spirit so that we can live a new life in Christ that is based on His power instead of our own power.
Wouldn’t it be a shame to spend all your time thinking about the “kind of person” you want to date or marry, while missing the present opportunity to become more Spirit led in your singleness.
Here are a few blessings of being Spirit-led.
- A Spirit-led life guides you to become more like Jesus, and makes you more likely to attract someone who is like Jesus. (John 16:12-15)
- A Spirit-led life is centered on trust, not control. As you trust the Spirit more with your day-to-day, you will be free to live in peace and love. (Romans 8:6)
- A Spirit-led life is a powerful life. When you know the Holy Spirit of God is leading you, it creates a boldness and confidence that goes beyond self-confidence. Your life will be full of confidence in the Spirit. (2 Corinthians 3:7-18)
- Being Spirit-led heightens your desire to make disciples. You are making the most of your time on earth when you are making disciples, and you are setting the standard for the kind of marriage you want to have. (Acts 2)
- The Spirit provides peace, joy, and love that are not present without the Spirit’s love. (Galatians 5:22-23)
Here is a verse to focus on this week. “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” The Spirit is on the move. Don’t miss His activity by being caught up in the mundane, excuses, or a casual attitude towards Jesus. Create space in your schedule to wake up early to talk to God, and to spend time in silence listening to Him. Invite the Spirit to transform your heart so that your life will be full of the Spirit’s fruit (Galatians 5:22-23). God did not save you so that you could become spiritually stagnant. Instead, God wants to lead you into a greater trust, greater faith, and greater love by His Spirit today.
I am excited that Awesome Marriage can Partner with Jeff Anderson and acceptablegift.org to bring you five outstanding blogs by Jeff Anderson. Jeff’s latest book ”Plastic Donuts: Giving That Delights the Father’s Heart” is a must read for every couple and now available everywhere. You will never look at giving the same again. Dr. Kim
“What do I do when my spouse and I are not on the same page about our giving?
#4 – Connect Financially
Just as spouses bring different spiritual alignments to a marriage, they bring varying financial styles and experiences as well.
A free-spirited, free-spending spouse will clash at times with a tightly-wound, bookkeeping spouse. Often the spouse who appears inclined to be more generous is also the one thinking about a new swimming pool or the next vacation destination.
Meanwhile, the one who reacts more cautiously about giving ideas is thinking about this year’s IRA contribution or an extra month’s savings for that unforeseeable economic crisis. When the giving conversation surfaces, resentment concerning how the other spouse views money gets in the way.
Couples need to find their common ground. Neither spouse is fully right or wrong in their position. Both need to be affirmed…and both need to be challenged.
The bookkeeper needs to be affirmed for their helpful management skills; but they may also need to be challenged to take steps of faith and give past their comfort zone.
And the free-spirited spouse needs to know their desire to give freely is admirable; but they may also need restraints on their personal spending to “earn the freedoms” to be generous that come from practicing sound stewardship.
Even couples with similar money styles become disconnected.
My wife and I graduated with accounting degrees and view money similarly. In the past when I gave my wife the “time to cut back” speech, that was my signal to tighten our spending.
Then weeks or days later I might come home with a grand giving idea. She’d call “foul” on my mixed signals (rightfully so) and I’d have explain my cryptic thinking. Since then I’ve worked harder to keep her in the loop with the financial picture and how possible giving sacrifices might affect our overall situation.
To connect financially, consider taking a financial stewardship course together. If scheduling seems problematic for you, consider going through a self-study as a couple. Early in our marriage, my wife and I went through a financial bible study together as a couple.
For stewardship resources, check out Crown Financial Ministries or Compass – Finances God’s Way or Financial Peace. For generosity-specific resources, consider our Plastic Donuts materials.
For many couples, a budget coach or counselor may be helpful to press into some of the more difficult areas. Often financial stress and difficult circumstances stand in the way and require a third party help to resolve.
For a couple to advance together in their giving journey there must be togetherness in the financial journey.
Get your copy of ”Plastic Donuts” in the Awesome Marriage Store: http://tinyurl.com/l8kuuvk
Will and Ashleigh talk with Dr. Kim about their marriage up to the pregnancy.
Michael and Shelby talk with Dr. Kim about the idea of ministry and marriage.
Everywhere we go, credit “opportunities” are thrown at us.
Dr. Kim talks about some of the things we accept as true that are really dirty little lies.
As we wrap up this series on finding a mate, there are some things that I want you to remember.
First: Prepare yourself. Ask God to help you become more of who He wants you to be. Sell yourself out to this. Be diligent and persevere. It will make a difference
Second: Know deep in your heart the essential things that are important to you in a mate. Then do not compromise them. Not even a little.
Third: Trust God. He can make it happen. Trust His choice for you. Trust His timing. Trust His incredible love for you and His desire for you to have the best.
Now it is your turn. Let us know how this series has helped you. Share any choices, actions, or changes you have committed to make and when God brings that person into your life, by all means let us know!